Goodbye 2010

Looking back, 2010 seems like it was just yesterday...oh wait, it was! Ok ok, sorry for the cornyness, I couldn't help it. But really, the time flew by. I learned a lot & had some great memories at the same time.

Starting out the year in apt. 205 at BYU-Idaho...



I had THE best roommate ever. We were such good buddies.




We used to wake up every Sat. morning & just hang out in our room & then go make pancakes for breakfast...our therapy.


We fit over 30 people in our apartment & had the most awesome dance parties that semester. It's all fun & games...until the manager threatens to call the police.



I shot a gun for my first time this year...in heels.



And a second time too.



Played with my awesome ward.



Hiked "R" mountain. (rexburg mountain)


Learned how to make cinnamon rolls..:)



Moved home for the summer and
went to my 2nd senior prom...deja vu, anyone?



Enjoyed summer nights roasting stuff at the drive-in and going on bike rides.



Attempted making crepes..



Found out what it's like to have long hair when I got extenstions.



Spent over half the summer in a swimsuit out in the sun, doing what lifeguards do best: yelling at children (and parents) to stop running, drowning each other, being stupid...etc.

It was a stressful job but lifeguards definately have some good times.

I decided my time was done at BYU-I so I packed my bags & decided to move to Dixie State. As I was moving down, I got to spend an amazing day at lagoon...Where it dumped buckets of rain on us.

And in the same day, the sun came out & we went swimming at lagoon-a-beach. We took full advantage of the weather and spend about 11 hours at lagoon that day.

Spent 3 days this summer, babysitting these cute kids. (minus babysitting Trevor, of course..he helped)

Went to general conference for my first time!

And loved it.

Believe it or not, it was also my first time carving a pumpkin all by myself.

Made this spongebob squarepants cake for my roommates birthday.

Had my first shot....of sparkling cider.

On the 2 incredibly long drives between St. George & IF I got to stop

and spend some time with this awesome family.

And while living in St. George (for the 1st time in 7 years) I get to live right next to this awesome lady..my sis.

And I get to be Paisley's favorite aunt...at least for now. ;)

Yep, I'm gonna miss you 2010 but I'm ready for 2011...bring it on.

"And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you, because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it. " -Roald Dahl

Zuuuumba

Tonight was zomba zumbie night....SO. much. fun. And that pretty much sums it up right there.

A good Sunday

Today I am so thankful to be a member of God's church. That I could go to church today and hear talks that were so specific to all the thoughts I have been having lately. I am thankful for my dear friend Beatriz and the great opportunity I have to be a part of the life she is considering.
I am thankful that it IS my life and a part of who I am. That God is a part of who I am and I have a part in him as well. That I get to be like him and keep trying even when I'm not perfect. I'm thankful for good friends who see through my bad days and know me for who I am.

I am thankful for the missionaries who have sacrificed 2 years of their lives to teach people, especially Beatriz, the happiness of the gospel. I am experiencing on such a small scale what they get to experience for 2 whole years and I beginning to understand why it is the best 2 years.
Listening to the missionary discussions with my friends has been a greater blessing in my life than I could have imagined. Tonight I had the opportunity to be invited to a small meeting/gathering of investigators and converts, put on by the missionaries at the visitors center. It was incredible to listen to the speakers and the general authority that was there. I have never gotten to talk to a general authority, but since I was with the missionaries and Beatriz we were personally introduced and we got to have a good discussion with him and his wife. The spirit and love that they have is touchable just by looking at them.

It has always been in the back of my mind that I might want to serve a mission depending on where my life is. There are so many good people in the world who don't know the simple truths that I was privileged to learn at a young age. Hearing their stories tonight and their thoughts on not having the gospel in their lives literally broke my heart. It is amazing how my Heavenly Father knows exactly what I need in my life and he allows a way for it to happen in the right time. There was so much at that fireside that I needed to hear, and just to partake of the sweet spirit that was there.

I have so many blessings, and all of them I owe to being a daughter of God. He is looking out for me. I received so many answers to unasked questions tonight, just from listening to the spirit. I am thankful for having the life that I have and though it is sometimes my greatest trial, it is also my greatest blesssing. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Seasons

Today (well technically yesterday now), but anyways...today, I wore my boots. and a jacket. and long pants. As I moseyed to class on this drizzly Friday, it was actually really great to feel the cold bite of Fall. Fall always seems to sneak up around the corner so quickly. One day I'll be laying in the grass with shorts and a t-shirt, then I blink and I'm in boots and a jacket. It happens. And I love it.

Then on the other hand, there is winter. cold. bleak. winter. Something that I never really look forward to, so far to the point that I dread it (especially when living in Idaho, but here in St. George I'm not as unhappy about it). Winter tries to be sly and sneak around the corner, but I know what's up. It's never really a big surprise when it comes, because we've all been expecting it. We see those big white fluffy snow clouds and we feel the cold wind, weeks before a snowflake hits the ground.

With each season, there is a change. Change of weather, change of clothing, and a certain change of mood and atmosphere. I think it's the same with the seasons of our lives. the only difference is that in our lives, we aren't all in the same season at the same time. In fact, it's quite opposite.
My fall is your spring. Your winter is my summer, etc.

This makes it really rough in so many ways, because really, who wants to try and wear summer clothes when it's winter outside? But it's also a hidden blessing in others. What if we were all in our "winter" season at the same time? I can't even imagine how dark that would be! Someone's got to have some summer to remind us all that it's still coming, even when we can't see past the winter storms. Not meaning you want someone throwing chipper summer songbirds at you all the time, but just the hope to remember that summer is just around the corner.

Oh and also, does everyone see winter in it's fall disguise in advance the same way that I do? Do they dread winter and feel it's chill before it gets there? Maybe the reason it never gets past me is because I dislike it's presence so much, that I see it from miles away. Sometimes, maybe it's better to just try and forget that winter is a season I dislike, and rather, look up and enjoy catching snowflakes.

Enough of my random 4 am rambling though, make of it what you will. I'll be out, busy looking for my own snowflakes to catch.

Trials are tunnels

An excerpt from "Women, Food, And God"

"I shut myself down or walk out the door when pain threatens to destroy me- which is in any situation that involves another human being or whose outcome I can't control. Something else is happening-the refusal to accept- and therefore engage in...life as it is. In the way things are. Polar bears are dying. Honeybees are vanishing. The oceans are drying up. There is a part of me that wants my money back. That wants to say I didn't sign up for this, I don't like the way this whole thing is set up and I won't participate in it.

Stephen Levine, a buddhist teacher, says that hell is wanting to be somewhere different from where you are. Being one place and wanting to be somewhere else. Being constantly agitated- another word for nonaccepting- about the inevitable. Being in a relationship with someone and refusing to surrender to love becase you don't want to give yourself to something you will eventually lose. That is called living in hell. That's also called leaving without leaving. Dying before you die. It's as if there is a part of you that rails against being shattered by love that you shatter yourself first."

Sometimes life is hard and I don't want the trials I'm given. I know I should be glad for the opportunity to grow; but unfortunately, sometimes I'm just not grateful for the chance to be stretched to what feels like wayyyy past my limit. To be at the beginning of what feels like a never ending tunnel.

The thing that is important to realize though, is that long before I came to this earth, I did "sign up for this." And when I made my decision, I knew full well that it would be hard and full of challenges. If I made that choice then, knowing what was coming...then I must have definately known that it would all be worth it in the end. And sometimes, that is a little piece of knowledge that reminds me to keep on going. A dim light in the distance.

Who we are, is who we've been

She loves. dreams. and tries. At everything she does. She adores her children and husband. Her home is a place of refuge and peace. A place of happiness. She is patient and has worked hard to become so. Judgements are few in her presence and all feel welcome. She is a listener with a life of advice to share with the world. She is a woman of grace and natural beauty, from the inside out. She is comfortable and happy with who she is and where she is in life- always striving to make the most of the present. Love is the main ingredient in her home.

The Mr. and her are best friends in every thing that they do. They go for walks, drives, and enjoy every moment that they are together. She is a positive person who has laughed often, taken too many pictures, and overused her "i love you's." Pictures of times past decorate her home. She is the one who sings her children to sleep, and tickles them until they can't laugh any harder. They are her pride and joy and she has waited a lifetime to meet them and love them.

She is a runner, always has been. The smell of fresh air and the cool breeze through her hair never get old. She is a selfless creature who makes time for others and always lends an open loving ear. Her and her husband are madly in love and they are always finding something new to learn or do together. They love to be outside and spend time together, laughing, talking, or simply enjoying one another's presence. She can let things go and forgive others.
She is happy. content. and close to God.

Her life is complete and full, always progressing. She is me...in a far away time. The me that I kind of dream about and can't really imagine quite perfectly, but it's at least worth a shot, right? Thanks to Naturegirl for the challenge of "writing our own biographies. Let us let these future women inspire us now...to be them...then. " These women..meaning us!

It's interesting to think about where I'll be someday. And to think that everywhere I am now is shaping who I'll become.
On one hand, it's nice to know that I have a lot of say in that...but then at the same time, it's kind of intimidating too.

Remind yourself daily

This is a little girl named Jessica doing her daily affirmation, and to me it shows the power of positive thinking.

Me and my roommate are making up our own version of this so we can stand up on our sink every morning to say it! I love it.

President Gordon B. Hinckley also has lots of good thoughts to brighten my day:

"Believe in yourself. Believe in your capacity to do great and good things. Believe that no mountain is so high that you cannot climb it. Believe that no storm is so great that you cannot weather it. You are not destined to be a scrub. You are a child of God, of infinite capacity. Believe that you can do it."

Thanks Jessica and President Hinckley, that's exactly what I needed! :)

Monday.

For some reason lately, my body won't let me sleep. Even when I am so exhausted I just can't seem to fall asleep until really late (or early) in the morning. Last night I had the privilege of laying in bed until 3am. Well actually I went and sat out on my patio for a little bit because I was so restless. What's with restlessness? I wake up every morning with really puffy eyes and it burns just to keep them open. Maybe I'll take some benadryl tonight.

That was actually a sidenote though. What's really been on my mind I don't feel like blogging about at the moment. But I will say:

Be careful what you pray for because that's what you'll get.
Oh and also, if I ever become president I"m banning Mondays.

Rant cont'd.

I apologize for the rants, but I am going crazy. It's 1am and I am so tired! These girls are up having some late night chat on their balcony. A really LOUD late night chat, preventing a certain someone below them from getting any zzzzzz's. Ahhhh! Why is it that all the loud talkative girls get put together and then my roommates (except michelle) are all shy and mute?! I do not understand. Either way, if these girls above me don't go to bed soon they are going to get a big loud surprise very early in the morning when I have to wake up. Oh yes fyi, when I'm tired my patience levels plummets. Especially when I can't fall asleep without hearing a "giggle giggle" or a "REALLY? omg!!!"
Ok ok, sorry. I will be done with my rant now.
I hope you are asleep right now; I sure do wish I was. sheesh.

Elephants on my ceiling?

Some may argue that there are only perks to living on the bottom floor of an apt. complex.

I beg to differ. All day, EVERY day, the girls that live above me seem to only want to run, jump, or dance. I have absolutely nothing against running, jumping, or dancing. UNLESS doing so makes it sound like my ceiling is going to cave in at any given second. Which it does. A lot. I mean really, come on my friends. Let your poor neighbors study! Even now, it's like an endless tap dancing performance that takes place 6ft above me all the time.

I'm starting to wonder if there are elephants instead of girls living up. Maybe I'll go check.

The GREAT Salt Lake.

Holy cow, the last week has been crazy busy, but in a good way. It's nice to finally have a minute to sit down and relax. On Wednesday I drove down to SLC because Trevor and I were going down to lagoon with my sister and some of her friends.

We tried to plan it so we wouldn't have to drive in too much traffic once we got there, so naturally we left late and made it just in time for rush hour. Let's just say, I was relieved when we finally made it to my aunt's house!

Other than that though, the rest of the trip was great. We just had a blast in Salt Lake going shopping and out to dinner that night.

Thursday morning (when we planned to go to lagoon) we woke up to pouring rain. And when i say pouring, I mean dumping. So naturally, being from Idaho, we figured it would stop in 10 minutes. While we sat in the car waiting for Julie and her friends to meet us at lagoon, we made an awesome music video and bought ponchos so we didn't get soaked.


We tried a few times to get a cool jumping picture, and this is the best one that we got. It was great. :)

Lagoon in the rain was fantastic! There were literally no lines until the sun came out about an hour after we got there. Everyone has told me so much about the "Wicked" ride, so we had to go on that one. It was over so fast that I didn't even realize what was going on, but it was really fun. That ride was the last straw for my voice though, which is still croaky and hoarse 4 days later.

It was a pretty great last few days before I had to go back to school and I really enjoyed every single minute of it. Except, of course, when it ended.

Good friends, food, and photos.

Well summer is just wrapping up so quickly now, isn't it? I thought summer would be a nice break, but I was about as busy as I was at school! Ah well, such is life; at least it was a good kind of busy. I have less than a week left at home and then I'm off to St. George. Before I left I really wanted to get better at making bread though, so yesterday I got to go over to a friends house and she taught me how to make cinnamon rolls and breadsticks. The reason I was so excited (beside the fact the I LOVE cinnamon rolls) is because the recipe was super cheap and it didn't take forever. They turned out really good and it was a nice day.

They're family is awesome and sweet. We went out in her backyard after we finished eating to take some pics for fun. Annie ended up taking some of me and Trevor too and they were really good before she even edited them, she's quite a talented lady. I'm still waiting for her to send them to me and then I'll post some. She's thinking of starting a business, so it was fun to help her build up her portfolio. :) (Expect more posting of that later.)

Plus, now I can make some killer cinnamon buns!

It's true. I love summer in all it's glory. It is so nice to not be in school and I have had a blast just being home and enjoying it.


Here is a taste of what's been happenin' this summer!



On the 4th of July, I went with trevor and his cousins and we lit dandelions and everything else off with waterproof firecrackers. We made it through over 200 of those little explosions.



I got a call from one of my favorite roommates while she was stuck in the airport on a layover so I picked her up and we went and saw the blue angels. It was so good to see her and catch up, she's awesome!

The blue angels practiced right over our house all week before their show and it sounded like the roof was going to cave in, but they were really amazing. They would do this trick where they would fly straight towards each other and then at the last minute they would pull up out of the way. I wish I had gotten a pic of it.

I love going to the drive in and roasting starbursts and marshmallows. So much junk food.

My single's ward was great this summer and I'm glad I went to it, I made some great friends.

We went on an over night trip to the playmill and it was so much fun! The boys in singles wards are crazy though!

Famous Dave's...need I say more? I think I may have found a new favorite restaurant, they have the best cornbread muffins I have ever had. If you haven't tried it..go. now.

I found a cherry limeade cupcake recipe, it's supposed to imitate the limeades at sonic. They turned out good!

I love making pancakes and nutella crepes for breakfast! Half the fun was just making them and trying to flip them! Even if mine did end up in..6 (ok 7) different pieces by the end.

I got to babysit the awesome Hansen family for a few days and it was SO much fun, idk if I should have been paid for having such a good time. We went swimming and little Logan was my buddy. When I went home he pointed to a picture and told his mom I was his "best friend!" He was such a funny kid!

Modeling my sunglasses...isn't he adorable?

We took a day to go swimming and got the whole pool to play marco polo, it was awesome.

I couldn't find any pics of me lifeguarding, but notice my tan lines in this picture. I guess being a lifeguard has it's perks.

A little bit of ninja destruction...

Cedar badge...my feet were so dirty!! One of the adult leaders was awesome and brought a little shower for the girls to use, it felt so good! and cold!

A few of us got really hot on our hike to one of the waterfalls so we slid down on the snow and pretended we were penguins.

I love Cedar Badge!

It has been such a great summer and I don't know how they always go by so fast, but I'm headed down to school in about 2 weeks. Now I'm trying to make sure I get everything done before I go down, but I think it will be fun when I get there.

Until then though....it's still summer for another 2 weeks! :)

"A good friend :

is one who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."

I am so grateful for good friends and people in my life who are patient and loving and kind to me. It means the world to and I don't think it is a coincidence that I am privilged to be around such wonderful people.

My day off :)

Today was a really lazy relaxing day. I've been super sick of work so I called in sick today (ssshhhhhhhh) and just kind of took it easy. April and Jon were in town and I have THE cutest neice ever! It was fun to get to hang out with them. I also registered for classes! I can't believe it's already almost time for classes again...
I also got to go to wal mart with Trevor and do some grocery shopping- it's weird but I actually like grocery shopping with him, it's kind of fun. Especially when I get to be lazy and ride in the shopping cart!
Once in a very long while it's healthy to take a nice needed day away. Isn't that what summer's all about? :)

Looming.

Do you ever have one of those days where the future just doesn't seem that bright?

It's kind of discouraging and I don't know how to hurdle over it because these days come often to me, like vultures circling. I'll just be talking or driving and BAM it hits me like a rock. Lots of people look forward to the future as bliss, but right now it's kind of a dark spot in my day that I don't like to think about. I just want to hold on with a white knuckle grip to what I've got and maybe, just maybe, if I do nothing will change. I want to take too many pictures and spend too much time just enjoying life before it's all different. I'm not looking forward to my whole world changing in about every way possible. Nope. That sounds more like a threat than an adventure to me. So until then, I'm not taking any of it for granted.

We are not nobody.

"We're the children of God and as his children there is no attribute we ascribe to him that we do not possess, though they may be dormant or in embryo. Now this is the truth, we humble people, we who feel sometimes so worthless, so good for nothing, we are not as worthless as we think. There is not one of us but what God's love has been expended upon. There is not one of us that He has not cared for and caressed. We may be insignificant and contemptible in our own eyes and in the eyes of others, but the truth remains that we are the children of God and He has actually given His angels-invisible being of power and might- charge concerning us, and they watch over us and have us in their keeping. " Pres. George Q. Cannon

This is such a comforting quote and I love it.

Superman-yep sorry,he's not real.

I think I tend to expect a lot of people, maybe a little bit TOO much. I know that we are all human and imperfect, but SOMETIMES I forget to remember that others are people too, simply human and not some other extraordinary species. It's still kind of a sad day when you find out that superman doesn't really exist and superpowers aren't real though. And that everyone else is human, just like me. what a shock. ;)

19 things about me that you probably didn't care to know.

I'm 19, so here are 19 random facts about me.
This is what happens when I just feel like blogging about something random.

1.I used to think cotton candy was too much like hair, so I didn't even try it until I was maybe 10.
2.I am a very curious person- even about things that don't even matter at all.
3.I get so deep into my thoughts that people can easily say hello and scare me sometimes.
4.I HATE going to the bathroom, it's such a waste of time. (and so is eating if you think about it.)
5.I used to think soda tasted like medicine, so I never drank a whole can of it until I was a teenager.
6.I never lit a match until I was a senior in high school- shhhhh.
7.I can handle blood and dead bodies, but loose hair completely grosses me out.
8.I rarely burp- I kind of hiccup instead for some reason.
9.I really want a SOBE drink right now.
10.People have told me my facial expressions can look like DORI from finding nemo.
11.I hate math- even simple math.
12.I love thunderstorms and rain, everything about them.
13.I over analyze everything. and when i say everything i mean, every. thing.
14.My left big toe has been smashed and hurt so many times that the nail is totally dead.
15.I love surprises, but I usually figure them out before they happen, but not always.
16.I used to keep a bag of 500 tootsie rolls under my pillow and eat them before bed when I was little. This must explain the cavities.
17.I'm really ticklish.
18.Pineapple and shrimp, or seafood of any kind, gross me out so much that I sometimes tell people I'm allergic.
19.When I get nervous or scared, I lose all of the feeling in my legs. Like if I'm driving and someone almost hits me or something, my whole leg will go all tingly.

A breath of fresh air

Lifeguarding can be a stressful job and I'm sure there will be more posting about that later, but today after work I got a treat that made it totally worth it.

As it got darker and we closed the pool, some stars came out and I was able to finish my work for the day and take a swim. The great thing about Heise is that it's up in the mountains and it's outside in a beautiful place. Unfortunately sometimes I get so caught up in work that I don't get a chance to really look around and enjoy it.

But tonight it was nice to go for a swim and look up to see the stars and the mountains. Plus I have always thought there is just SOMETHING about summer nights- the air is always so refreshing and rejuvenating.
One of my favorite things is sleeping outside beneath the stars when it's warmer out, and I'm starting to think swimming out at night when it's peaceful may become a close second.

I. love. lilacs.

I think I may have found my favorite flower.
The smell, the color, the everything...love em'!
This pic pretty much sums it up so I'll let it do the talking.

The countdown begins!

For the last 300 and something days I have been reminiscing and looking forward to spending a week outdoors with lots of bugs, lots of mud, and not a single shower.

Why look forward to something like that?
Because- it's where friends become family, where life is not too busy to enjoy nature, and when nighttime's purpose is to stay up talking and falling asleep under the stars. Where fears are overcome, and new things are learned.

Plus it's the only time I'll ever be caught alive going a week with no shower.

Cedar Badge in 5 days...Woot!!

Summer bucket list

A few small and simiple things I want to do this summer-

-go to the drive in
-run @ least 3 times a week (or some form of exercise)
-learn to longboard
-read some good church books
-become more patient
-buy a car??....or some form of transportation for school at least.
-keep better track of my checkbook ledger (or whatever it's called)
-go hiking
-finish my quilt
-eat at famous dave's
-save $ for school
-go wakeboarding
-drive a stick again
-go to the temple at least 3 times
-ride a bike
-sleep under the stars
-blow fire
-roast starburst...mmmmm.

:D

You are what you...think?

Lifeguarding provides lots of time for random thoughts to pop in & out of my head. It's never anything significant or worth remembering; but I'm under the impression that thoughts that appear in my head at times when I'm not thinking about anything in particular-must be SOMEWHAT significant to me. Why else would I be thinking them?

Eating breakfast, taking a shower, driving- are all mundane tasks that allow the mind to wander. And wander it does, but where? I have no clue where I am going with this but..it was just on my mind.

I guess to me it's kind of the concept of "You are what you eat". Except instead- we are what we think. I suppose I've just been contemplating what my brain has been being fed and whether it is worthwhile or not, because that's what it becomes. Not that it's being fed a bunch of crap- but more just too much of one thing or another. Plus in the other sense too- we are what we think of ourselves as, regardless of what other people might say. Which could be either good or bad- depending on how you see yourself.

So does this mean it's time for a good ol' diet?
I think for now I'll just try to stick with choosing between things that are good, better, or best. And find a good balance.

Fail.

I baked brownies @ 425 instead of 325 and my house STILL stinks.
I sewed my swimsuit and totally messed it up the first time.
I planned a girls night that only 2 girls showed up to, myself included.
I got lost on my way home from work. again. (how it happens, I do not know!)
I actually HIT the ball in softball, but forgot to let go of the bat til 1st base and almost took out the 1st baseman.

All in just one week.

Life is full of failure. But it is too short to get frustrated over such trivial things, so instead they actually ended up being really funny. Thank goodness for laughter. :)

The new do

I spent forever trying to find a better before pic with my hair down, but for the last few months I have been so sick of my hair that it's been in a ponytail since Christmas basically. Here is the most recent pic with it down that I could find though. :)

Before:
 

After: