Goodbye 2010

Looking back, 2010 seems like it was just yesterday...oh wait, it was! Ok ok, sorry for the cornyness, I couldn't help it. But really, the time flew by. I learned a lot & had some great memories at the same time.

Starting out the year in apt. 205 at BYU-Idaho...



I had THE best roommate ever. We were such good buddies.




We used to wake up every Sat. morning & just hang out in our room & then go make pancakes for breakfast...our therapy.


We fit over 30 people in our apartment & had the most awesome dance parties that semester. It's all fun & games...until the manager threatens to call the police.



I shot a gun for my first time this year...in heels.



And a second time too.



Played with my awesome ward.



Hiked "R" mountain. (rexburg mountain)


Learned how to make cinnamon rolls..:)



Moved home for the summer and
went to my 2nd senior prom...deja vu, anyone?



Enjoyed summer nights roasting stuff at the drive-in and going on bike rides.



Attempted making crepes..



Found out what it's like to have long hair when I got extenstions.



Spent over half the summer in a swimsuit out in the sun, doing what lifeguards do best: yelling at children (and parents) to stop running, drowning each other, being stupid...etc.

It was a stressful job but lifeguards definately have some good times.

I decided my time was done at BYU-I so I packed my bags & decided to move to Dixie State. As I was moving down, I got to spend an amazing day at lagoon...Where it dumped buckets of rain on us.

And in the same day, the sun came out & we went swimming at lagoon-a-beach. We took full advantage of the weather and spend about 11 hours at lagoon that day.

Spent 3 days this summer, babysitting these cute kids. (minus babysitting Trevor, of course..he helped)

Went to general conference for my first time!

And loved it.

Believe it or not, it was also my first time carving a pumpkin all by myself.

Made this spongebob squarepants cake for my roommates birthday.

Had my first shot....of sparkling cider.

On the 2 incredibly long drives between St. George & IF I got to stop

and spend some time with this awesome family.

And while living in St. George (for the 1st time in 7 years) I get to live right next to this awesome lady..my sis.

And I get to be Paisley's favorite aunt...at least for now. ;)

Yep, I'm gonna miss you 2010 but I'm ready for 2011...bring it on.

"And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you, because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it. " -Roald Dahl

Zuuuumba

Tonight was zomba zumbie night....SO. much. fun. And that pretty much sums it up right there.

A good Sunday

Today I am so thankful to be a member of God's church. That I could go to church today and hear talks that were so specific to all the thoughts I have been having lately. I am thankful for my dear friend Beatriz and the great opportunity I have to be a part of the life she is considering.
I am thankful that it IS my life and a part of who I am. That God is a part of who I am and I have a part in him as well. That I get to be like him and keep trying even when I'm not perfect. I'm thankful for good friends who see through my bad days and know me for who I am.

I am thankful for the missionaries who have sacrificed 2 years of their lives to teach people, especially Beatriz, the happiness of the gospel. I am experiencing on such a small scale what they get to experience for 2 whole years and I beginning to understand why it is the best 2 years.
Listening to the missionary discussions with my friends has been a greater blessing in my life than I could have imagined. Tonight I had the opportunity to be invited to a small meeting/gathering of investigators and converts, put on by the missionaries at the visitors center. It was incredible to listen to the speakers and the general authority that was there. I have never gotten to talk to a general authority, but since I was with the missionaries and Beatriz we were personally introduced and we got to have a good discussion with him and his wife. The spirit and love that they have is touchable just by looking at them.

It has always been in the back of my mind that I might want to serve a mission depending on where my life is. There are so many good people in the world who don't know the simple truths that I was privileged to learn at a young age. Hearing their stories tonight and their thoughts on not having the gospel in their lives literally broke my heart. It is amazing how my Heavenly Father knows exactly what I need in my life and he allows a way for it to happen in the right time. There was so much at that fireside that I needed to hear, and just to partake of the sweet spirit that was there.

I have so many blessings, and all of them I owe to being a daughter of God. He is looking out for me. I received so many answers to unasked questions tonight, just from listening to the spirit. I am thankful for having the life that I have and though it is sometimes my greatest trial, it is also my greatest blesssing. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Seasons

Today (well technically yesterday now), but anyways...today, I wore my boots. and a jacket. and long pants. As I moseyed to class on this drizzly Friday, it was actually really great to feel the cold bite of Fall. Fall always seems to sneak up around the corner so quickly. One day I'll be laying in the grass with shorts and a t-shirt, then I blink and I'm in boots and a jacket. It happens. And I love it.

Then on the other hand, there is winter. cold. bleak. winter. Something that I never really look forward to, so far to the point that I dread it (especially when living in Idaho, but here in St. George I'm not as unhappy about it). Winter tries to be sly and sneak around the corner, but I know what's up. It's never really a big surprise when it comes, because we've all been expecting it. We see those big white fluffy snow clouds and we feel the cold wind, weeks before a snowflake hits the ground.

With each season, there is a change. Change of weather, change of clothing, and a certain change of mood and atmosphere. I think it's the same with the seasons of our lives. the only difference is that in our lives, we aren't all in the same season at the same time. In fact, it's quite opposite.
My fall is your spring. Your winter is my summer, etc.

This makes it really rough in so many ways, because really, who wants to try and wear summer clothes when it's winter outside? But it's also a hidden blessing in others. What if we were all in our "winter" season at the same time? I can't even imagine how dark that would be! Someone's got to have some summer to remind us all that it's still coming, even when we can't see past the winter storms. Not meaning you want someone throwing chipper summer songbirds at you all the time, but just the hope to remember that summer is just around the corner.

Oh and also, does everyone see winter in it's fall disguise in advance the same way that I do? Do they dread winter and feel it's chill before it gets there? Maybe the reason it never gets past me is because I dislike it's presence so much, that I see it from miles away. Sometimes, maybe it's better to just try and forget that winter is a season I dislike, and rather, look up and enjoy catching snowflakes.

Enough of my random 4 am rambling though, make of it what you will. I'll be out, busy looking for my own snowflakes to catch.

Trials are tunnels

An excerpt from "Women, Food, And God"

"I shut myself down or walk out the door when pain threatens to destroy me- which is in any situation that involves another human being or whose outcome I can't control. Something else is happening-the refusal to accept- and therefore engage in...life as it is. In the way things are. Polar bears are dying. Honeybees are vanishing. The oceans are drying up. There is a part of me that wants my money back. That wants to say I didn't sign up for this, I don't like the way this whole thing is set up and I won't participate in it.

Stephen Levine, a buddhist teacher, says that hell is wanting to be somewhere different from where you are. Being one place and wanting to be somewhere else. Being constantly agitated- another word for nonaccepting- about the inevitable. Being in a relationship with someone and refusing to surrender to love becase you don't want to give yourself to something you will eventually lose. That is called living in hell. That's also called leaving without leaving. Dying before you die. It's as if there is a part of you that rails against being shattered by love that you shatter yourself first."

Sometimes life is hard and I don't want the trials I'm given. I know I should be glad for the opportunity to grow; but unfortunately, sometimes I'm just not grateful for the chance to be stretched to what feels like wayyyy past my limit. To be at the beginning of what feels like a never ending tunnel.

The thing that is important to realize though, is that long before I came to this earth, I did "sign up for this." And when I made my decision, I knew full well that it would be hard and full of challenges. If I made that choice then, knowing what was coming...then I must have definately known that it would all be worth it in the end. And sometimes, that is a little piece of knowledge that reminds me to keep on going. A dim light in the distance.

Who we are, is who we've been

She loves. dreams. and tries. At everything she does. She adores her children and husband. Her home is a place of refuge and peace. A place of happiness. She is patient and has worked hard to become so. Judgements are few in her presence and all feel welcome. She is a listener with a life of advice to share with the world. She is a woman of grace and natural beauty, from the inside out. She is comfortable and happy with who she is and where she is in life- always striving to make the most of the present. Love is the main ingredient in her home.

The Mr. and her are best friends in every thing that they do. They go for walks, drives, and enjoy every moment that they are together. She is a positive person who has laughed often, taken too many pictures, and overused her "i love you's." Pictures of times past decorate her home. She is the one who sings her children to sleep, and tickles them until they can't laugh any harder. They are her pride and joy and she has waited a lifetime to meet them and love them.

She is a runner, always has been. The smell of fresh air and the cool breeze through her hair never get old. She is a selfless creature who makes time for others and always lends an open loving ear. Her and her husband are madly in love and they are always finding something new to learn or do together. They love to be outside and spend time together, laughing, talking, or simply enjoying one another's presence. She can let things go and forgive others.
She is happy. content. and close to God.

Her life is complete and full, always progressing. She is me...in a far away time. The me that I kind of dream about and can't really imagine quite perfectly, but it's at least worth a shot, right? Thanks to Naturegirl for the challenge of "writing our own biographies. Let us let these future women inspire us now...to be them...then. " These women..meaning us!

It's interesting to think about where I'll be someday. And to think that everywhere I am now is shaping who I'll become.
On one hand, it's nice to know that I have a lot of say in that...but then at the same time, it's kind of intimidating too.